Learning To Trust:Turning It Over To God

Confession. I have trust issues. Not so much trust issues as much as jealous issues that lead to trust issues. I've been sick today so I haven't done much. When I don't do much my mind races so I play on facebook or video games to distract me unless I feel like being particularly pensive. I started to notice an increased number of engagement announcements on my facebook news feed. I started to notice people with boyfriend and girlfriends who were previously single. I began to feel jealous. I caught myself making unfair comparisons and saying mean things in my head about people who were my friends. I began to think thoughts like "What? That guy is a complete ass to women. How does he have a girlfriend while i'm still single?" These are not fair questions to ask. You see when you don't trust in God guiding you in the right direction, you begin to be unthankful for what you have. You begin to experience jealously. Ultimately for me this is a lesson in trust. Now I am a firm believer in free will. I don't believe that God lays out every single minute of every day for you. I believe God knows all that but doesn't make the choices for you. I do however believe if you take a destructive path that leads you away from things that God does have planned for your life God will do everything within His power to get you back. Ultimately it comes to trusting that faith. Trusting that the grace of God is sufficient. Trusting that if there is a desire that God has put on your heart it's there for a reason. I began to think about this as I mumbled through idle conversation with my barber. As the barber removed the hot towel from my neck to use the straight razor on my neck, I began to think of how much the trust required in this resembles the trust required of God. As I said on my twitter when you as a man let your barber take a straight razor to your face, you're basically gambling he or she is not going to go all Sweeney Todd on your neck.

In order to get the great feeling of a straight razor shave you need that level of trust (it's an amazing feeling by the way.That's for another time though). God is a lot like that. It takes trusting in God to know that you're not being led astray. John Wesley used to say (paraphrasing) that any good in a man and from a man comes from God alone. I fight so hard sometimes not to fall into the traps of jealousy and lack of trust. It's hard to have the desire to share your life with someone and it seems like everyone else around you is having such joy while you haven't been in a serious relationship since Bush was President. For me this is a time when I must rest in God alone. I've already seen through my brokenness that I alone can not overcome the feeling of inadequacy, jealousy, and mistrust I experience when struggling with the desire for a relationship. Instead I must learn to trust. I must learn to allow God to place the answers to the touch decisions on my heart so that I can make the choices that will grow me the most and bring Him the greatest glory. What are you turning over to God today.

Living into your calling

A few years ago, I was helping out with a campus ministry at a community college I attended.  The speaker that night was a guy I knew. He had played football at the junior college, went off to LSU, then transferred to Southern Miss where I went. The campus ministry had plenty of football players that attended the speakers and Bible studies. He and one of the current football players who was being recruited by various universities to play football were talking. As I overheard them talking, the question of regret came up. The speaker told the young football player if he could do it all over again, he wouldn't have went to USM. He would have went to a larger school where he could have had a better chance at being drafted. Now aside from my obvious disappointment at his disregard for our alma mater, I was struck by this statement in another way.Here was this guy who had a college degree, a beautiful wife (who he had dated as long as I had known them), got a chance to play college football, and knew the love of God. It began to dawn on me that he like many of us was not "happy" with his lot in life. He desired more than what he had been given. From listening to him speak, he was obviously successful in the career he had chosen and it allowed him to speak to students and make an impact on their life. I have no doubt he was exactly where he was called to be. The problem is many of us, myself included fail to live into our calling. For my friend, he would have been happier being a pro football player because to him it offered more value than what he was doing. Inversely there is my friend Catherine. As we were talking over facebook tonight, it dawned on me that Catherine was most definitely living into her calling. I'd only known Catherine about two years, but she had always been kind of quiet and reserved. The fact I'm overbearing and talk to much probably doesn't help encourage others to speak but it's my curse. However recently God has been doing amazing things in her life. She has shared ideas for outreach at the campus ministry I was a part of at Southern Miss. She volunteered to give her testimony to the youth group she is an intern with and is genuinely happy about both. She is living into her calling. She is making the most of life and speaking for God and about God in an unashamed way. Our calls change, but hers right now is to reach out to people and share how Christ has worked in her life and how God can work in theirs. She is experiencing the pure joy of how we feel when we live into our calling and are exactly where God wants us to be. As you go forward, look around and see the impact you making. Are you where God is calling you to be right now? Are you where you are supposed to be but not reaching out to who you are supposed to? I hope that anyone who reads this, can come to know the pure joy of the moment you realize that you are right where God has called you to be at that very moment in your life. The joy of realizing that we have the free will to choose the direction our life takes and we have chosen a path that is pleasing to God and allows us to work and build His kingdom.

-Shawn

Why Jesus isn't Taylor Swift or any other major music artist for that matter.

So I have to admit, I'm not a huge fan of Taylor Swift but some of her songs are catchy. By some songs I mean all, because all of her songs are essentially the same. You're probably thinking, what does this have to do with God or Jesus. This is what it has to do with theology. Taylor Swift and every major musician/artist has one great trait about them that makes them successful. They know their audience. Taylor Swift makes what I call high school drama queen music. She's like a more dramatic Adele. Her music is predominately about her last boyfriend and how terrible he was during their relationship which leads to my statement of all her music is essentially the same song. Regardless of how I feel about it, she's obviously very successful at writing songs that express the angst of teenage girls. It's as I hear these songs and words, that I'm thankful God is not like Taylor Swift. That's not a slight to Taylor Swift but simply a statement about the greatness of God. Romans 1:16 that in the Gospel is the salvation for ALL who believes. See unlike Taylor Swift, God doesn't want to focus on one demographic. God wants all of us. He doesn't just want the girls who have been hurt by a relationship. He doesn't only want the macho guy that fights in the UFC, God wants all of us. He chases after us with a relentless passion. You see it's not that Christ can't tell a story that appeals to a certain demographic, it's just that Christ tells a story that is bigger than any one person, group, or even musician. You see I'm not a fan of the idea that God chooses certain people to save and others to condemn. I think that's so belittling of the power of God to save any and all he chooses. Many times when explaining God we use the reference of a parent. That's akin to a parent choosing to lavish all their love and praise on one child while neglecting the other child. God is right there with you. He's walking alongside us begging us to follow him. I find solace in the fact that I never truly walk along. All of us like "the chase". It's part of a relationship. Since it's usually a man chasing after a woman, men don't often think of themselves as being pursued. Nothing could be farther from the truth. We men are pursued daily by a voice saying "Come Son, follow me and I will show you the way." What a great story for all of us. I'm thankful God puts storytellers in the world. Artists, Musicians, Actors, and Singers tell great stories through art, song, music, stage, and screen. However God tells a bigger and better story. Quit worrying about if you're in His "demographic". You're one of his beautiful and glorious creations. We are all God's target audience.

Shawn

Service To Myself: Reflections From SOS:Legalism and Holiness

“I continue to dream and pray about a revival of holiness in our day that moves forth in mission and creates authentic community in which each person can be unleashed through the empowerment of the Spirit to fulfill God's creational intentions.” John Wesley

I know it's been a while, but I was dealing with a Hurricane. This is the final post in my SOS series. I didn't want it to drag on forever, so I narrowed it down. One thing that I realized this summer, is that no matter how much we preach on it, read about it, try to avoid it, everyone in the Christian community struggles with legalism to some extent. As I listened to my then coworkers and soon to be friends share their stories with me, the consistent stream was a struggle with legalism. Many had been raised in a home where while loving was more legalistic and moral than based on holiness and discipleship. Now there is a fine fine line between holiness and legalism. That I think it something as a whole the church doesn't often speak on even though it should. Holiness is living you life in a way that is pleasing and brings glory to God all while growing closer to God. Legalism is simply living a certain way to avoid God's wrath or to check something off the list. While I may be a tad biased because I am Methodist, many scholars agree there are not many theologians more well versed on Holiness than that of John Wesley. For Wesley, social and personal holiness were paramount to the life of a Christian. It is through holiness that grow closer to God and closer to the people God intends for us to be. It is through social holiness that the earth begins to look a little more like God's kingdom each day. Even in Wesley's day holiness was a struggle. We simply can no longer afford to live a  life of legalism and ignore the holiness that God calls us to. "Be Holy for I am Holy" 1 Peter 1:16. The move from legalism to holiness is a heart condition. What I mean when I say that, is that many things that we do that are legalistic, are only legalistic because of the desires of our heart when we perform them. Reading your Bible and praying daily is not legalistic. Taking communion weekly is not legalistic. When these things are done out of a desire to avoid God's wrath and to check them off your list they become legalistic. The prophet Isaiah tells "Your righteous acts are like dirty rags". When we do what Wesley would call "attending upon the ordinances of God" and we do them out of a desire for our heart to be molded to more like Christ, we shift from a life of legalism to holiness. Even holiness can become legalism if we let it. While we start doing things to grow closer to God, they too become like a checklist. I find this to be especially true of people who grew up in the church.A few of the best books on holiness I can recommend if you want to read more on the subject are below.My prayer for you as you read this, is may your heart be "strangely warmed" by the Gospel of Christ. May your heart draw you closer to Christ daily. May you move to a place where you serve God out of love and not out of expectancy.

"The spiritual poverty of the west is far worse than the material poverty here in India" Mother Theresa. 

"Why Holiness Matters" by Tyler Braun. It's an outstanding book that relates his real life experiences with legalism, holiness, and his own failures.

Holiness of Heart and Life by Charles Yrigoyen. An overall look at Wesleyan tradition and history as well as the holiness that marked the early methodist movement and led to revival. A must have for any Methodist bookshelf.

A Blueprint for Discipleship by Kevin Watson. This is by far my favorite book I've read in the last year. It talks about Wesley's Three Rules (Do Good, Do No Harm, Attend upon the ordinances of God) as a pattern for Discipleship and has some really great nuggets as it relates to holiness.

Service To Myself:Reflections from SOS:Wealth and Affluence

This is the second of a series of blog posts about my summer working for SOS or Service Over Self in Memphis, Tennessee. You can check out their website here, if you'd like more information. Please take the time to check it out and see the amazing things they are doing to revitalize the Binghampton section of Memphis and prove to Memphis and specifically Binghampton that God is not through with "The Bing".

What are these strange things above this post you might ask? Well those are food stamps. Many people have never seen them as the US government has now switched to an EBT card that folks use to pay for food when they are on SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) or welfare. The image of these are burned into my mind as a reminder of where I came from. While I would be considered middle class now, it is only through the hard work of my mother that we are in fact middle class. It wasn't always that way though. From the time I was born until I was about 8ish I didn't know what regular Christmas was. Very few presents I got came from a place other than Dollar General or Family Dollar. I still vividly remember being at Winn-Dixie with my mother as she bought groceries for us and paid with those stamps with the all too familiar Liberty Bell on them. I say that to reveal one of my greatest struggles that reared it's ugly head this summer. Money and Affluence. Money is not a real issue for me. I don't have a lot but I have enough and work hard for it as does my family. However, I realized this summer while at SOS I really struggle with people of affluence. Many of the campers who come to SOS are suburban white upper to upper middle class kids. Many of the kids come from families with money who live in the wealthy suburbs of cities they come from. I realized this summer as one kid refused to follow the "Serve to Your Left" rule (at SOS you always serve food to the person to your left at dinner) that he had never been told no. He had seemingly always been allowed to do what he wanted when he wanted. There was a sense of entitlement. The words of my grandfather often ring through my head, "The world owes you nothing and there's nothing worth having that you don't have to work for". God began to reveal in me my struggles with people of affluence and wealth. I harbored resentment towards people who were given everything they ever wanted and had allowed that to mold them into people who felt they were entitled. I began to be shown the resentment I harbored in my heart even towards these campers simply because their parents had enough money they could go to the store, point something out, and have absolutely no problem paying for it. I also began to feel shame for how I grew up even though it was no fault of my own. I felt shame upon realizing these things for multiple reasons. One, I had undervalued the life God had given me. While life has never been easy, there are many moments that have shaped me into the person I am today. Two, I was being judgemental towards campers because of something that was no fault of their own. It wasn't the campers fault they were entitled and affluent. That is a learned condition. Their parents through not forcing them to work for the things they wanted and valued had created a sense of entitlement and superiority in these children. It was through this time that God not only showed me to be thankful for the life I've had and the lessons it has taught me, but that the church has work to do. The words of Mother Theresa ring true when she  “The spiritual poverty of the Western World is much greater than the physical poverty of our people". While God does not necessarily frown upon wealth, we must as the church be diligent in encouraging those with the means to use the gifts God has given them to reinvest in the world. We must also do it not only with the intention of it being a checkmark, but as an outpouring of the grace God has shown us in our lives. We have to show people that you come to SOS to serve God and serve others before yourself. The title Service Over Self is not just a catchy name that rhymed with SOS but a response to the commandment of Christ that "anyone who would follow me must deny himself and take up his cross daily"(Paraphrase of Luke 9:23). For these kids and their parents, it means not only coming to SOS but committing to using your means to serve the least, the last, and the lost that Jesus Christ came to save (Luke 19:10). It means not being so poor that all they have is money. For me it means living into the life and the story God has given me and being thankful for it. It means spending my time educating and preventing people from falling into spiritual poverty while they maintain material wealth. It means realizing we are all broken and live in some kind of poverty.

In Christ
-Shawn

Service To Myself: Reflections From SOS: Being Manly

This is the first of a series of blog posts about my summer working for SOS or Service Over Self in Memphis, Tennessee. You can check out their website here, if you'd like more information. Please take the time to check it out and see the amazing things they are doing to revitalize the Binghampton section of Memphis and prove to Memphis and specifically Binghampton that God is not through with "The Bing". 

    It's been about two weeks now since SOS ended and I feel like I've had time to decompress, relax, rest, and really jot down my thoughts about the summer. The first thing I want to speak about as a way I was changed this summer was manliness.

Calvin and Hobbes

As part of SOS, each Thursday a summer staff member gives a short version of their testimony to the campers. I gave my testimony this summer and really focused on the image of God the Father. I grew up with my grandpa as my father figure in my life as my dad had hit the road due to drugs and alcohol. I really found comfort in the idea of God being a father that would never leave me or bail on me the way my natural father did. As I really confronted this idea, I began to realize the effects of culture on men. I'm a member of the United Methodist Church. I love my church, but we have our problems. In the interest of inclusiveness and feminism, we have limited the role of men in the church. I've been passed over for or encouraged not to apply for leadership positions because I'm a white male and therefore don't offer the diversity of other candidates. This is not necessarily the churches fault but a reflection of culture. While feminism offered many great advances in American society, it has and continues to reshape how men act and behave. In our society today it is more socially acceptable for a man to wear skinny jeans and listen to Miley Cyrus than it is for a man to grow a beard. I've decided to grow my beard just because I wish to see how it will look when given room to grow, but I've gotten strange looks and comments from people. "You look like a caveman" a female friend told me. What I learned this summer from living in close quarters with 20+ other godly men, is that it is completely acceptable to just be a man sometimes. Now to understand why this is a big deal you need to understand this. In the course of theological conversation with a fellow Methodist, she stated she felt it was sinful and idolatrous to worship God as either male or female. This summer, while I already knew that God created man and God created woman it was reinforced by just spending time with my brothers. It was okay to sing "manly" songs of worship. It was okay to build a blow gun and use it on a can of shaving cream. It was okay to go to Central BBQ and pig out on some BBQ nachos. It was okay to go see a movie with guns and explosions without hearing "it's too violent". It's okay to go to dirt track races and cheer for sprint cars as they zoom around the track. It's okay to just hang out with the guys. Now I'm not saying those things wouldn't be allowed in church (obviously I've never used a blow gun in church). What I'm saying is we live in a society today constantly trying to blur the lines. This is not just gender wise but in all aspects. Some of those lines need to be blurred. The lines that divide activities as being white/black activities such as dirt track racing need to be blurred. However, along the way we must not loose track of the fact God created us all different and we should be unafraid to live into that role. Similarly we as the church, the Body and Bride of Christ must be unafraid to allow people to be themselves. We must allow men to be men and women to be women.We must move to a place where men who love Jesus can love Jesus and still enjoy things that society deems too manly. We must move to a place where we simply choose the best person for the job regardless of male/female, black/white, single/married.  Some may say "I'm comfortable in my masculinity, that I don't need to express it like that". I'm comfortable in my masculinity as well, but I still desire fellowship with other men where I can be unafraid to be myself and enjoy the things I enjoy without society telling me I'm wrong. So to the men I served alongside with this summer, I thank you for being the outstanding godly men you were and offering the male fellowship that I needed to grow this summer.

A letter to the Youth Group

Tonight, I for all intents and purposes said my goodbyes to the youth group I've helped with for two years. Now that I've had time to sit here and shower, relax, and get some music going on my spotify account, I've also had time to think. I'll still see most of them in my work with SOS this summer, but beyond that many I will not see again until our paths cross again with them as adults. There are things to say to them all, that were not the right time to say as this night wasn't about me but was about them saying goodbye to their youth director who has served them so faithfully for years. Without further ado, I offer words to the youth I've grown to love and appreciate so much.

Ladies, You are all beautiful Godly women. As you all grow up and head to college, you will be tempted to find affirmation from men for how beautiful, smart, charming, or athletic you are. Ignore the praises of men as they are in vain when you have a heavenly Father who has created you and deemed you "good".

Gentlemen, You are all great Godly men. You must live into what God has called for your lives. Treat the women in your lives (those whos relationship with you is romantic as well as those who are just friends) with the respect for the creations of God that they are. You are Princes of the Most High and have been called for HIS purposes not your own.

To all the youth. It has been my most esteemed pleasure to know you for the past two years. To watch you grow through the good and bad times has been simply outstanding. It is my time helping with you that I have realized God is still very well alive in the hearts of men and women seeking to serve him. I pray that you live into the lives God has called out for you. Remember out faith is not simply a race but a marathon. You don't always appear to be in the lead, but we know how the marathon ends ahead of time. The bumps and bruises along the way are just a part of it. Finally I leave you with two things. Wesley's 3 Simple Rules for Christian Living and Wesley's Covenant Prayer. May the 3 simple rules guide you in your daily life to become a better Disciple for Christ and show His love to the world. May you have the courage to pray the Covenant Prayer before yourself and God as a daily act of obedience to him and a way of dying to yourself daily.

3 Rules
1:Do Good
2: Do No Harm
3: Keep The Ordinances of God (worship, hearing and studying Scripture, Holy Communion, prayer, and fasting.)

Covenant Prayer (Modern English)

I am no longer my own, but yours.
Put me to what you will, place me with whom you will.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be put to work for you or set aside for you,
praised for you or criticized for you.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and fully surrender all things to your hope and service.
And now, O glorious and blessed God, Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer,
you are mine, and I am yours.
So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be made also in heaven.
Amen.

I love each and every one of you and intend to follow your achievements no matter how far apart we may all be. God Bless Number 6:24-26